tornado in the sky

The best feeling in the world

You know the queasy feeling in your tummy after meeting or talking to another person? That feeling where you couldn’t stop thinking about them; the feeling whereby you smile out of the blue when you’re walking home; and where you recall every single conversation you had with that significant other?

It took me a while to realise this. Although I think the feeling is a bit stupid since it’s such a naive, teenager feeling, it is quite possibly the best feeling in the world. It is an instant rush of happiness running through your veins and every muscles in your face tries their hardest not to smile but you couldn’t! You gush out of nowhere and people think you look stupid smiling to yourself. It’s that feeling where when you’re walking, you just feel like dancing instead. I’m personally a skipper during these times, but it’s equally identical.

I’m not sure if what I’m describing is love or a periodical euphoria. It’s different than having a crush. This is a more genuine thing. For instance, you’re just doing your own business and then suddenly your mind just started wandering towards that significant other. You begin to smile, and every part of your body begins to be jovial. I’m doing a bad job describing this feeling, aren’t I?

But whatever it is: I miss that feeling, and it only happened to me once. Although I’m happy now, nothing could ever compare to how happy I was during that duration.

NaNoWriMo Obligatory Entry

My life goal was to write a novel. The problem was that I wanted to put it off until I retire from work, 40 years from now. I thought it was ridiculous of me to leave my passion behind me as I embark into the world of civil servant. It took all the guts that I have to participate in NaNoWriMo this year without having the intention to win. But I did, and I finished my story.

When I began outlining for my novel for NaNoWriMo, I told myself that I should keep my expectations low and aim for 30,000 words. As I edge near to 30k, I didn’t even give a crap about entering 30k and prioritised getting 50k as a goal. Getting to 50k was the most difficult obstacle, but I somehow pulled through. Waltzing into 40k transformed me into a writing machine. I couldn’t stop writing once I get into 40k.

What helped the most was the NaNoWriMo Word Sprints that happened on the second half of November. It is the most helpful thing that kept me writing. They have it several times per day, and last Sunday I joined 5 word sprints that got my word count up to 6,000 for the day before it was even noon. The sprints were, if anything, crucial during the period of writing. It’s the time when people have used up all of their ideas, brain dry from splurging everything to their writing. You have writing companions all over the world competing with one another in word counts that you can achieve in the duration of time given. It was very helpful.

One of the biggest trick that I learned before I even began writing was to never edit. I never read back what I wrote. During the period of 25 days, I only had the urge to highlight a full chapter and press backspace twice. Then I realised how some of the things in there were so beautifully poetic (NaNoWriMo does this thing to me where it made me write metaphors really well), so I decided against it. It’s what editing and redrafting are meant for. So, I scurry forward like a ferret.

As a writer, this is my biggest achievement to date. Overall, I’m really proud of what I’ve done even though I’m not entirely happy with the first draft. That’s why it’s called the first draft. Doing this gives me the urge to write more books. I’m already planning for next year’s NaNoWriMo/the next novel I will write. Right now, however, I’m keeping editing at bay because I need to relax. Instead, I just begun writing a children’s poetry book, one with illustrations. I am thrilled for this, and I absolutely love how my adult life has manage to balance passion at night and work in the morning.

I would especially like to thank Shalina for helping me pull through especially on days when I was really tired after coming home from work. Get to 50k quick, sweetie! <3