3 years of my life was spent in a constant state of depression. Waking up from nightly sleep was met with a pang of sadness, and going to sleep was invited with a temporary numbness. It wasn’t something I could dismiss, and not something I understood. These feelings managed to latch onto me after all these years, despite the humourist (or not) that I have turned to now. Coming out of depression allowed me to feel other emotions: anger, fear, and happiness, amongst others.
Feeling happy was alien to me during those times of sorrow, and that feeling of exhilaration managed to penetrate itself to me earlier this year. It was foreign, almost sickening. It made me feel as if unicorns exists, and they pee out rainbow. However, it was good, and it made me dizzy.
I’m not one for human affection, what with years of backstabbing from people I considered friends for life. Maybe this was why I was so depressed. It wasn’t the commitment that was scary—sure, that too—it was the bridging of a lasting and strong friendship, relationship, and trust. It takes time, and I hate time. Time managed to break bonds between my friends and I.
I was stupid. I thought the idea of us was stupid, and I don’t want to let my past come back to me and ruin my life. I’m not sure how to say this to you directly because I’m stubborn as a mule, but I’m sorry for everything. For what, I don’t know. I’m trying. Let’s talk again, and I’d understand if you don’t want to. This time, let’s take it slow. We have all the time in our hands to manipulate.
2 months ago
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2 notes
For the past hour, I have been reading stories that I wrote when I was 19. The structuring is bad, with constant perspective changes. But the construction of words weaved together to make up a sentence is, dare I say, poetry.
I think I am a shitty writer now. Excuse me while I go drown myself out of anger.
Sincerely, me
2 months ago
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0 notes
So, it wasn’t okay for Agnes Monica to perform in Brunei due to censorship issues but it’s okay for Pamela Anderson to make an appearance for people of higher stature?
Is my non-royal ass the only one who fails to see the logic?
OF COURSE, GUYS! The populace has shitty morals. How could I ever forget that?
2 months ago
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1 note